SERIES: Don't Be The Same, Be Better (3 of 3)
Take An Interest In Others

It’s the last Monday of January, so I wanted to wrap up thoughts about “Don’t be the same, be better” as we are now well on our way into 2020. What kind of person do you want to be and what people skills you have learned on the job can you apply in your personal life to be better this year? We’ve mentioned extending grace to people, trying to live at peace with everyone and today, taking a genuine interest in others.  Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.  ~Apostle Paul, 1st century influencer. 
   
With our volunteer organization, I get to do ride outs once a quarter, and I love doing them. One thing I enjoy is seeing a real person behind the scenes. Also being in a profession where I encounter and deal with a lot of different personalities, I am in awe of how officers (as a whole) are able to engage others in conversation. There is an art in the way you talk to people (whether it’s trying to calm them, reassure them, get facts from them or spot inconsistencies in their stories).     
   
I don’t know if you’ve thought about the “carry over potential” of this skill into your personal life, but I’ve seen how people really take note when your conversation shows an interest in them. I remember a couple years ago in early January, I was responsible for taking down the Christmas lighting strung across the church sanctuary. Since a lift is needed to do this, it is MUCH easier with two people, so I enlisted some help from our congregation. A guy that I did not know that well came to help, and of course we struck up a conversation while we worked. I asked one question, listened to what he said and followed up on what he said. I found out about this guy’s interests, how he found our church, the career he had retired from and about his family. I enjoyed our conversation, but what really struck me was the thank you text I received from him that afternoon. He had been there to help me, but he thanked me for the good time because it felt good having somebody take an interest in his life.
   
This year, Don’t be the same, be better. Look for opportunities to let those you love know you take an interest in them!

Your service is appreciated,
Pastor Rob

Links to other posts in this series: Don't Be The Same, Be Better - Part 1, Part 2

SERIES: Don't Be The Same, Be Better (2 of 3)
Live At Peace With Everyone

Last week, we started talking about “Don’t be the same, be better”. We talked about extending grace to people in our conversations with them. This week, I want to look at being better by learning how to live at peace with everyone.

Wow, that just sounds impossible, doesn’t it? Living at peace with EVERYONE? The first century missionary, Paul whom I quoted last week, extended the challenge this way: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Although still quite a challenge, at least it acknowledges the fact that some people simply will not let you live at peace with them. So I guess the hard part is, “as much as it depends on you.” What does that mean?

Pondering this question, I was reminded of a lesson I learned this last year from our officer liaison to APD. The board of our volunteer organization was trying to clarify expectations of members and we came up with an annual commitment letter members were asked to sign. You know how people respond to being told what to do, and one member signed and returned the form with what came across to me as their own personal exceptions to the expectations. After I voiced my concerns, our liaison officer said, “I just look at it as their personality. That’s how they are. Whenever I talk to this person, that’s how they come across with a  lot of things. I deal with all kinds of different personalities and you just gotta roll with some people.” 

I realized from my personal dealings with this person that our office liaison was correct...it was just that person’s way of responding to people and they were not trying to be confrontational. We let it go and after several months, the person of their own accord acknowledged their schedule did not allow them to meet their commitments to our organization, they stepped down and had nothing but positive things to say.
 
On the job, you practice “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” My prayer for you this week is you see those same opportunities in your interactions with those you care about in your personal life. Don’t be the same, be better in 2020. May you extend grace and live at peace with everyone.

Your service is appreciated,
Pastor Rob

Links to other posts in this series: Don't Be The Same, Be Better - Part 1, Part 3

SERIES: Don't Be The Same, Be Better (1 of 3)
Let Your Conversation Be Full of Grace

On the job, you have to treat people right, even if they don’t do the same for you. And, if you want to do well in your career, you have to become a better officer over time. Over the next couple weeks, I’d like to think/talk about what would happen if we took that same approach in our personal lives. Don’t be the same, be better! I don’t know about you, but I would like to add value to the lives of those around me, and I’d like to be better at it this year than I was last year.

One way to do this is what I call “extending grace”. The Apostle Paul once challenged a group of people, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” That is an interesting thought: let the words you say cut people some slack, give them the benefit of the doubt and not give them what they deserve because of a dumb thing they may have said or done. Seasoned with salt...like salt makes food taste better, let your words make a situation better. And knowing how to answer everyone...you understand that from your job. There is no one way to say something best every time. You look at the situation, look at the people involved, look at the desired outcome and then find the best way to communicate. But all of this takes GRACE, because sometimes people are just difficult.

I did a funeral recently and when I typed the obituary into the printed funeral program, I inadvertently skipped the line naming sisters of the deceased. I caught it before the ceremony and read their names then, but after everyone went home, one of the sisters discovered my mistake. I was not there when she came back to the church, but she made no small scene, ripped up the program and left it on the front porch of the church. I printed a corrected copy of the program, went to her house, explained what happened and apologized. The woman was embarrassed for her behavior, apologized as well & thanked me. Grace won the day!

Chuck Swindoll once said, “When others are expecting retaliation, offer grace instead. It will blow their mind…” and bring peace to yours! Be better...be full of GRACE this year!

Your service is appreciated,
Pastor Rob

Links to other posts in this series: Don't Be The Same, Be Better - Part 2, Part 3